When I date someone I steal their body heat and eat their food and nuzzle them a lot basically I’m 100% useless and also a cat
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You threw her away. You threw away the girl that would do anything and everything for you. You threw away the girl that gave her all and trusted you with it. You threw away the girl that put her whole self into being there for you. You threw away the girl that shut every other person out in her life because she told herself she couldn’t trust them. You threw away the girl that sees the entire world in you. You threw away the girl that went through hell just to be with you. You threw away the girl that was willing to wait as long as it took until she could call you hers. You threw away that girl that still wanted you even when you treated her as if she was nothing. You threw away the girl that spent months hoping you two could be together eventually. You threw away the girl that stays up at night, wondering if you’re okay. You threw away the girl that continued to do so much for you even though she got nothing in return. You threw away the girl that didn’t listen to the bad things that others said about you. You threw away the girl that would do anything in the world for you. You threw her away. And guess what? You lost her.
- me: please don't step over my laptop
- cat: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxzxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxvvvvv4
I am the girl before the girl.
Because I am far too much of everything.
But this will teach you what you want in someone. You will see these things in me with the volume turned all the way up and find them in someone else at a volume that doesn’t make your ears ring.
I will help you grow. I will push you, call you out, always ask you to be better. But not because I do not think you are enough, but because I will always see the best in you and ask that you show everyone this.
You will see how I love with my heart sewn into one sleeve and my tongue sewn into the other and you will learn to say the words that your heart beats out. You will stop caging your feelings behind your teeth out of fear. She will know that you love her, but not that you learned how from me.
I am the one before the one.
But don’t think that you will forget me.
I will stay as the knot in your throat, the thought pressed to the back of your mind, the pit in your stomach when you see shards of me in her. They will be polished smooth, but they will drag up memories of my jagged edges. And for a moment, you’ll wonder if instead of being someone else’s rock polished smooth from careful contact, you could’ve been my diamond from the heat of the love I pressed against you.
When I was in the hospital
I was roomed with a schizophrenic
And she was the most gentle person I have ever met
There was a boy with a long deep slit across his neck
Who told very funny jokes
A girl who never spoke a word
Would draw the most beautiful pictures
The boy who shook with anxiety
Could hold the most intelligent conversations
Even the girl who screamed in her sleep and picked at her skin
Had a heart the size of the ocean
We are not who you think we are
guys are so terrifying like they will really date a girl as a joke or make bets in their friend groups on who can fuck a girl first or take her virginity and that’s so scary this is a joke to them
Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.
But I’ve been told that a cheater is always a cheater, so I’ve got my pride and she’s got you
if a girl wants to watch a sport because she thinks a player is hot then let her, it’s not like guys watch the VS fashion show because they want to buy new bras.
